What Doesn't Kill You Leaves You Cold
by Birds-of-Burgundy
Summary: To Mamoru, everything and everyone had faded out of existence but the two of them, and the pace of their reunion had turned into a mesmerizing slowmotion. He reached out to touch her, knowing that he couldn’t bare it if she turned out to be a dream.


Okay, so it's been awhile and you're wondering why I haven't updated my other story right? Well I have lots of reason for that, the most obvious one is that I've been busy with this new story I've finally gotten out. I've also been busy working on other stories too that I really want to post like the one I promised earlier, **Capture of the Amazon Princess**, which is not this story. Another reason for the non-update is because I'm totally in a writers block with the next chapter right now; I'm hopping for an epiphany any day now. The last reason is that I've been getting into reading Stephen King books again, and that takes up a lot of my time because I can really get into reading. I just finished reading Desperation and The Regulators  I cried in that one, but Desperation is my favorite so far. And right now I'm three hundred pages into Stephen King's Insomnia. My god Stephen King can write! So those are my reasons and I'm sticking to them!

**Summary**: Set after the stars. Usagi falls overboard off a cruse liner during an unexpected storm and is presumed dead. She turns up alive but something's off, and it's not just her memory. As she settles back into her life, the girls and especially Mamoru, notice that Usagi's picked up a few strange habits, and it all seems to lead back to ocean from which she came out of. Progressively, as the symptoms get worse, and Usagi grows cold and distant and down right nasty with her friends and family, that's when the real trouble starts. It seems there's one more enemy left to fight and this one just might be the hardest one of all, because it's Mamoru's twin brother, a ruling prisoner of the seven seas for over a millennium. But thanks to Usagi he's been freed and he's looking for revengeful family reunion.

Are you interested? Then on to the story, enjoy……………..!

**WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU LEAVES YOU COLD**

CHAPTER 1

The weather outside was ugly, with luminous dark clouds covering the sky; and the heavy feel of moisture in the air told of an oncoming storm brewing shortly in the distance. Strong winds blew cold around four girls as they stood out on the deck of a small cruise boat they had won tickets too.

It was one of those ninth caller deals heard on the radio that Makoto had been lucky enough to score. She'd gotten seven tickets, inviting the girls, naturally, and Mamoru; and the extra ticket she'd sold for just enough money to buy everyone snacks with.

"God, it had been so beautiful out this morning when we boarded just five hours ago, but now… now…"

But Minako couldn't finish, and she leaned halfway over the railing to continue throwing up her lunch. Usagi followed there after, also feeling the effects of the high choppy water that rocked the boat mercilessly. Mamoru stood next to her, rubbing her back soothingly and whispering soft, protective words in her ear. When, of course, she wasn't puking.

"I'm sorry," she whispered with a sad smile, a napkin covering her mouth while she spoke, "I'm so embarrassed. I wish I could handle this in a more mature fashion. I feel bad that you have to suffer through this too."

Mamoru brushed away the beginnings of her tears and gave her a true, reassuring smile, "I'd rather be here with you than anywhere else. Don't ever be sorry, because I'm not."

She smiled, and just as he leaned in to kiss her squarely on the mouth, she turned back to the water and began to dry heave again. Mamoru gave a worried smirk before continuing his efforts to comfort his distraught princess.

Makoto and Ami however seemed unaffected by the brutal weather change, almost as if it had a rather calming quality about it. Minako was jealous of it and questioned in a whine.

"Why aren't you guys where we are? We're a team, if one suffers, everyone should suffer."

Ami looked up from her physics book and smiled apologetically to her comrade from her seat on a nearby bench. She looked wistfully toward the heavens before giving a quiet explanation.

"My father and I, before he… left, used to go sailing all the time when I was little. It was _our_ thing; our corny, special, father daughter tradition that only involved us and the sea. My mother had always been afraid of the vast open water, so she never went; even though my father would always ask her anyway. All in all, the weather's a comfort because it reminds me of better days.

"Oh Ami"

There was so much guilt and shame in Usagi's voice as she uttered her friend's name that Ami had looked to her immediately, quick to sooth Usagi's obvious fears, and angry at her herself for her mindless wording.

"What I meant to say was that it reminds me of better childhood days. Usagi, if I hadn't met you or my other friends; if you hadn't helped me, I'd still be that miserable, aloof genius girl with no personality. Please understand Usagi that I will never regret what was given to me five years ago, and I will never regret our time together, _or_ our friendship." She finished in a bright confident smile, and while Usagi smiled back, Ami could still see the doubt in her eyes, and it left her pained.

An uncomfortable silence ensued as the boat continued to rock widely and the wind turned fierce and chilling. Makoto cleared her throat, deciding to break the melancholy quietness that had befallen on everyone and change the subject to lighter matters.

"Well…, the reason why I'm probably not experiencing seasickness is because I find the weather actually refreshing, and exciting." She breathed in the salty air and looked to the darkening sky herself. "It's crazy, but for some time now, I've been able to smell approaching thunder and lightning in the air, I can smell it now, like sulfur and…"

"Thunder?" Usagi interrupted in surprised squeak. She looked up and searched the sky in panic, trembling in Mamoru's arms. It wasn't quite the mood change Makoto was hoping for, but it would do.

"We should get inside, where it's warm and dry" Mamoru's voice was commanding, and everyone began to move immediately. The decision couldn't have come at a better time, as it had just begun to rain; hard.

"Where's Rei?" Usagi called out over the loud whistle of the wind and the pounding of fat raindrops on the wood deck.

"Inside our room still" Minako shouted as they came together in front of the entrance doors to the main dinning and entertainment hall. "She's probably still brooding over the fact that Yurrishio chose to visit his family instead of coming on this cruise with her. It seems like he made the better choice now, though," she added thoughtfully while the others silently agreed. Minako decided not mention that Rei also hadn't been able to stand Mamoru's codling of Usagi through her seasickness.

Lightning cracked loudly above them and Usagi pushed closer into Mamoru's protective embrace. A loud siren began to sound, warning everyone on deck, except for specified crewmembers, to get inside immediately.

They had all started to shove through the doors when a rather large wave knocked the boat hard on the starboard side, throwing everybody backwards unexpectedly. Ami's book fell out of her hands and slid across the deck toward the railing. She glanced after it forlornly for a moment before turning back to go inside.

Usagi, who'd been standing in the back with Mamoru, had watched the entire incident unfold; mainly catching Ami's look of defeat as she accepted that the book was lost. So Usagi pulled slightly out her boyfriends grasp to find out how far the book had traveled, and to see if maybe she could salvage it. It hadn't gone very far, maybe six of seven yards at most, and Usagi determined it wouldn't be very hard to snatch it up and run back to the safety of the group.

Quickly, Usagi removed herself completely from Mamoru's grasp; jogging hurriedly toward the troublesome book and scooping it up with a flourish. The heavy rain soaked through her clothes in seconds, freezing her almost instantly.

She heard Mamoru shouting at her, the girls already having gone inside, but the wind and the rain made it hard to hear what he was saying. She shouted back what she hoped was a reassuring 'I'm okay', and waved the book out toward him to explain the motive behind her sudden actions.

She felt her body tense in confusion when she noticed his panicked movements and almost frenzied shouts to… She screamed she couldn't hear him, but it didn't matter anyway, because she was just starting to jog back to join him when a large wave swept over the boat and knocked her off her feet.

She was left winded and choking on seawater as she slid down the port side, away from Mamoru toward the bow. The icy ocean water carried her fast, until she slammed hard up against the railing, her head and shoulders taking most of the impact.

She stayed there for a few seconds, dazed and breathless; her throat raw from the unexpected intake of salt water. She could do nothing as the rain pounded down on her small frame and the wind blew fast and biting across her exposed face. Her only consolation was that she no longer felt cold, her body having fallen into that blissful state of total numbness.

She was close to losing consciousness, her little tumble having knocked the energy right out of her, and some small part of her was content to just let herself fall asleep right here on the flooded deck.

But then her survival instincts flared up, angry that she would throw her life away so easily. And considering the past five years, dying this way just wouldn't do her justice.

It took her a few tries to stand, what with having no purchase to grab onto; and the wide rocking of the boat, along with the violent wind and heavy rain, wasn't exactly helping either. Waves kept crashing hard into the side of the boat and then spilling over the railing to douse her with more water. It wasn't long before she toppled over again and was left sliding even further down toward the bow of the boat.

Again it seemed that the only thing to halt her forward motion was to crash into something. This time however, when she hit the offending object, it seemed to grab hold of her; letting out a grunt that sounded male and very familiar. She twisted around in a pair of arms to find that Mamoru had been the one to catch her. While surprised to see him, she figured that the first wave to knock her over must have caught him too, only sending him down further then she.

He looked a little dazed, but mostly relieved that she seemed to be okay; or at least looked to be in one piece anyway. He would worry more about her once they got safely inside somewhere, anywhere at this point.

"Can you stand!" he shouted to her. She shook her heard yes.

"Can you!" She shouted back and he gave a swift nod in conformation.

He used a metal cylinder that was bolted to the deck, to help him and Usagi get up on their feet. She wrapped her arms around his torso and he placed a free hand around her shoulders to anchor her to him. Mamoru looked around for a door that would lead them inside to some place, any place, which was dry and hopefully warm. Both were closing in on exhaustion, and if they didn't get out of this soon, well, he wouldn't think about that just now.

But within another second it didn't matter either way, as another unnaturally large and vicious wave decided to try and swallow the whole boat. It struck the starboard side hard, causing the boat to swing over drastically, close enough to come a couple inches short of capsizing.

Caught unexpectedly, both were thrown off balance toward the railing, which lead directly into the icy cold waters of the turbulent ocean. Miraculously Mamoru's wandering free hand had been able to grab onto a loose line and still hold onto Usagi. While it had kept them from taking an unwanted plunge, they were still very much in danger, as Mamoru was only holding onto Usagi's hand now, and she was slipping fast out of his grip.

He knew he didn't have the strength to pull her up; the storm had drained him of it. He had no advantage to do so either, and could only watch helplessly as her hand pulled completely out his and she fell away to sink underneath the rough waves.

"No!" he screamed.

He made to go in after her but was pushed backward as the boat swung downward forcefully to become level again. When the water had settled down, Mamoru heaved himself up out of sheer will alone and only made it to the railing before he was dragged away by two crew members who thought him to be a crazy jumper. He fought and struggled and cursed at them to let him go, but they only doubled their grip. They hauled him inside to a small emergency room where nurses rushed over to help.

"This man was caught outside in the storm and looked like he was trying jump," explained one of the men. He was stout and burly, with rough brown eyes and a gray shaggy beard. "He's seems pretty hysterical, do you have something to calm him down?"

One nurse rushed away to ready a sedative while the other grabbed a heap of blankets from a nearby shelf.

"Get your fucking hands off me! There was a woman with me who has fallen overboard and I have to save her! She's going to drown if you assholes don't fucking let go of me, RIGHT NOW!"

The demanding authority in his voice sounded harshly regal, and both men loosened their hold in fear and wonder. He moved to shove pass them when a nurse recovered from her stupor and quickly injected a needle into his arm.

Mamoru only made it a step or two towards the door before everything began to feel heavy. Already exhausted, the sedative only took a few seconds to knock Mamoru completely out. It took both men to sit him on a cot while the nurses proceeded to strip him of his clothes and dry him off. They redressed him in dry sweats pants and a t-shirt before laying him down and covering him with four heavy wool blankets to prevent hypothermia.

While the nurses checked his vitals, the man who had spoken earlier looked for an ID among the littered clothing.

"Says here his name's Chiba Mamoru, age 22. Other then that, there are a few credit cards, a twenty dollar bill, and a grocery receipt."

One nurse, who looked in her mid forties with curly auburn hair and solemn green eyes, turned in his direction, "Well, we've got everything under control here, so I want you to take his wallet up to the captain's quarters and tell him what's happened. Hurry up about it; he'll need to run a passenger check and make sure everyone's accounted for."

"No offence ma'am," the second man, who'd been standing off to the side and out of the way, spoke up, "but me and Sam here didn't see a lady with him. I don't think we should start an unnecessary panic-"

But the nurse shook her head and waved a hand to interrupt him. "Doesn't matter, we can't afford not to take this young man at his word. In fact, if he was with anybody, they need to be notified of his condition and brought straight down to the medical room immediately. They'd be able to claim someone missing faster than checking every single passenger; have the captain make an announcement."

The man nodded and both took their leave while the nurses finished up, assured that the man would be just fine. They left him alone to sleep, but when the peaceful darkness faded away, he would be left to deal with four very overwrought Senshi.

**THIRTEEN DAYS LATER**

It was a late Wednesday afternoon and the sun blazed high in the clear sky down on a bustling Tokyo. The temperature was hot, without a breeze to keep it cool, and it was the heat that agitated Usagi enough to wake up.

She opened her eyes only to be blinded by the glare of the sun that left her seeing stars. She squinted her eyes and brought a hand up to shield against the offending brightness. Still not able to make out anything of her surroundings she proceeded to roll over on her stomach and dry heave a few spitfuls of saltwater. She turned around again, weakly pushing herself up into a sitting position where she rested her head in her hands. She was slightly disorientated, her head hurt, her body felt sore, and the back of both her shoulders were bruised; but gratefully, that seemed to be the extent of her injuries.

She looked around lazily and came to realize she was sitting on an empty beach. Behind her, to the right, were high jagged cliffs that jutted out into the ocean, but to her left she could just barely make out people about a half a mile down the way.

She got up slowly and headed that way, along the shore line, with her feet skimming the wake of the ebbing tide. A salty breeze blew soft around her, causing her stiff, wrinkled dress to ruffle about her tiny frame. It blew through her tangled, sand incrusted hair, which hung loose and heavy down her back; sweeping across her calves.

She was wandering on autopilot, not sure exactly where she was headed, but certain it was the right direction. When she reached the crowds of people who were scattered about the shore doing various things, most of them stopped to stare at her.

Her eyes moved over all the different faces, completely unaffected by their over piqued curiosity. When she had gotten so far in, she instinctively made to go left, away from the water and toward downtown Tokyo. But as her feet left the water she felt something call her back, a soft whisper of her name, which gently demanded that she come back and disappear beneath the soothing pound of the waves.

The call was faint and Usagi gave it only a second's consideration before deciding to keep moving forward. The pull to turn back toward the ocean began to ease subtly as she got further away from it. Eventually, it disappeared altogether, and she was left standing in front of two, large sliding glass doors. On either side, in gold bubble letters, the word Crown was printed.

She stared at them, unsure of why she had come to stop here. She noticed distractedly that passerby's would pause as well, only to stare at her. Everyone she had passed while on her way, to wherever _here_ was, had seemed to do so. She'd paid them no heed of course, completely unconcerned as to why they seemed so disturbed by her. All that mattered was that she had found where she wanted to be; well almost. With one last sweep of her eyes over the outside of the establishment she made to go inside.

Mamoru sat at the counter of his best friends arcade looking pale and lost. He was slumped over the counter with his head in hands, staring into a congealing cup of cold coffee; there was an emptiness concealing his eyes. His hair was greasy and unkempt, his clothes were creased and sloppy, and he smelled unpleasantly of salt and sweat; the result of foregoing a shower and sleeping in the same clothes night after night.

It broke Motoki's heart to see him like this, to see his once sharp friend so lifeless and dumb. But mostly it broke his heart because just a glance at the pathetic waste Mamoru had become would forever remind him that the always cheerful and smiling Usagi, a woman he had come to believe as his sister, was…dead.

Motoki had found out the day after everyone had come back from the cruise. They hadn't given him details, mostly because they didn't have any, but Motoki hadn't wanted them and the girls probably wouldn't have felt like sharing anyway. All he knew was that a storm had hit unexpectedly and that it had taken Usagi's life just as unexpectedly.

The girls had told him that Mamoru had been there to witness all of it, had tried to save her but didn't, and she'd fallen overboard. He had tried to go in after but was stopped and dragged to the emergency room where he was drugged with a sedative to knock him out for three hours. By then it was too late to do anything, having nearly reached the Tokyo docks, to far away to save her by then. A rescue helicopter had been sent out to search for her, despite the odds that they wouldn't find anything. The crew had come back empty handed.

Mamoru had woken up to four very distraught faces, ravaged with grief and tears. Mamoru had been disoriented and slightly dopey from the drug that was still circulating within his system, but it hadn't kept him from remembering.

"Where's Usako?" His voice was groggy, but also desperate, "Where is she?"

Out of the four girls Rei was the only one to look at him; and with a sad acceptance shimmering inside her tear-swollen eyes, she shook her head despairingly.

"There… there was nothing anybody could do. She's… " (Dead)

But she couldn't finish and her words dissolved into choking sobs. Mamoru's frantic eyes glanced desperately at the other girls in turn, wishing hopelessly that they would tell him what he wanted, needed, to hear. They didn't.

When the boat docked and they made their way on shore, they were greeted by the owners of the cruise line. They had apologized profusely for letting it happen, and then proceeded to offer an insulting large sum of money if they would please keep the whole thing quiet, being as it was, 'an accident'.

Up until that moment, Mamoru had been quiet and reclusive after coming to terms with Usagi's sudden… death, so the girls, though seething themselves, were surprised when Mamoru suddenly lashed out at the fake, sympathetic men; physically and verbally. They'd had to pull him off one of them, and drag him away as he shouted at them both to burn in hell.

A few yards away he collapsed in a heap, to cry brokenly on the marina in front of a large crowd of curious on lookers. He'd fallen apart after that, unable to do anything but weep bitterly, and the girls, while crying themselves, were left struggling to get him home.

When they reached the door of his apartment, Minako fished for a key while Rei and Makoto supported an exhausted Mamoru, who sagged weakly against their shoulders. Ami leaned against the opposite wall a few feet away, having dragged behind the whole way, her movements mechanical and slow.

Minako got the door pushed open with trembling fingers and then turned to help carry Mamoru through the apartment toward his bedroom. They laid him stiffly onto his cold, pressed bed; throwing a blanket folded at the foot of it over him half heartedly.

It was hard to take care of him, to even feel sorry for him, when they had their own grief to deal with too. He wasn't the only one suffering here; he wasn't the only one who was feeling lost, and scared, and alone without her. They all had their own pain to deal with, and in an ugly situation like this one it was hard not to be selfish.

They walked out quietly, quickly, and left him there to cry himself to sleep. They all headed out of the apartment complex, with each of them in her own sluggish dream, but it was more of a nightmare really. Eventually they had all gone their separate ways, without goodbyes, and all of them intending to follow in Mamoru's foot steps; to cry themselves into a fitful sleep.

The next two weeks had been a sluggish hell, and nobody, knew exactly what to do now. No one seemed to be able to bring themselves by the Tsukino house and say their condolences; especially Mamoru. Mamoru didn't want their hateful accusing eyes piercing through him as tried to explain he was sorry for letting it happen.

He didn't think he would have to, because three days later he had tried to kill himself. If it hadn't been for Motoki, who had shoved his way into Mamoru's apartment, took notice of the empty Ibuprofen bottle and a half consumed bottle of whiskey on the table, and called an ambulance, he might have succeeded.

Mamoru had stayed in the hospital for another four days, with Motoki coming to visit every chance he could. The girls had stopped by once, each one on a different day, and staying no longer than a necessary five minutes. Rei had come last, and definitely more composed than the others. She had told Mamoru in a listless, tired voice that the Tsukino's were holding Usagi's funeral next Sunday, a week from now, and Mr. Tsukino asked that he be there.

When Mamoru had been released, Motoki had taken him home. While Mamoru slept off the last of the Morphine in his system Motoki cleaned the apartment of all its liquor and medicine bottles, throwing them in a dumpster two streets down. He came back to start a pot of coffee and leave a sandwich on the table he had picked up from the deli across the street. Then he left, the bitch of having to work, and he was only fairly certain that Mamoru would be too exhausted to try and kill himself again just yet.

For the next six days Motoki, and his sister, would stay with Mamoru whenever they could. They'd walk in to find him either asleep or slumped on his couch with a small wool blanket around his shoulders. Sometimes he would be crying, but mostly he stared off into nothingness, and not speaking at all. A sick depression had settled over him, and it had him barely eating.

It was only by some miracle that Motoki had got him out of that dark and rank smelling apartment and here sitting at the arcade counter. The man needed a new perspective besides the white wash walls of the hospital and the blank TV screen of his apartment.

It was a Saturday morning, the day before Usagi's funeral, and Motoki, who stood drying water glasses, would glance occasionally in Mamoru's direction and debate weather or not Mamoru was ready for her funeral. Having to say a final goodbye to the girl who had meant everything to him might send him over the edge again, and Motoki wasn't sure _he_, himself, could handle another suicide attempt.

The jingle of the sliding glass doors opening brought him out of his terrible thoughts and he glanced up out of habit more than anything to see who the customer was.

The sound of shattering glass brought Mamoru's head up slowly, the noise barely reaching the broken consciousness of his mind, and had looked up on reflex rather than interest. He sought out Motoki on instinct and found him standing frozen behind the counter staring in shocked amazement, and even a little fear, toward the entrance doors.

Mamoru, having felt absolutely nothing for the last thirteen days, suddenly felt his curiosity rising. He turned slightly, catching someone out of the corner of his eye, and his heart stopped. He turned around fully, making sure, even though he knew it wouldn't be her; that, of course, it couldn't be Usagi because she was dead, only, there was no mistaking her.

She stood three feet in from the sliding glass doors, and her cold, intense eyes gazed directly into his overwhelmed ones. He had to remember to breathe, he had to breathe or he was going to pass out.

He got up to rush her, to scoop her up in his arms and never let her go, but something stopped him short. Later he would come to realize it had been her appearance; he would remember that while she hadn't looked _dead_ she hadn't looked healthy either. She had thinned, and she was pale, with a light blue-green tint shading her eyes and mouth.

It didn't matter anyway as she came to walk the short distance to him. She moved leisurely, almost seductively, toward him, and stopped only one or two inches from him. Her eyes held a fascinated wonder as she looked him over, and Mamoru felt a languishing desire fill him at that look.

To Mamoru, everything and everyone had faded out of existence but the two of them, and the pace of their reunion had turned into a mesmerizing slow-motion. He reached to touch her, knowing that he couldn't bare it if she turned out to be a dream, scared that she would, and that she'd end up disappearing at his touch; but coldness of her smooth cheek told that she couldn't be a dream.

She fell into his arms, reaching up to kiss him, and he came down to crush his warm lips against her cold ones. The kiss was hard and demanding and Mamoru found she was all to willing to give. He felt himself hardening against the softness of her curves, and his hands moved down her sides to cup her ass and press her more firmly to him; she didn't protest.

The kiss had now turned feverish, almost carnal, and Usagi's hands were everywhere, running over his chest, and shoulders, and back in a frenzy. It was only when she slipped them under his shirt, and he felt the icy coldness of them on his skin, that he pulled back roughly and the world came back into focus. Both were out of breath and holding tight to one another.

He didn't have time to feel embarrassed, or much of anything else, as Usagi pulled away to stare up at him with the same wonder in her eyes; only slightly lessened by desire. They searched his face reverently and she moved in a little closer to whisper, "How do I know you" before she sunk limp in his arms; having fallen unconscious.

So tell me what you think? I wasn't sure I needed to introduce the evil character just yet; maybe next chapter. Anywho, love to hear what you have to say. Thanks!


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